Moonburnt / by John Javellana

Loss is an aspect of life I never had a problem dealing with all throughout my years of being. I’ve quit and moved on so many things with just a snap of a finger. From past relationships, soccer and basketball varsity teams; being a wedding photographer; different sets of friends.. Almost everything I’ve learned to love and clung onto. I believe I’ve let off one too many a thing in one way or another. So much that I’ve become a master of it contriving it.

Tonight I found myself basking under the gleam of the moonlight sky. The full moon has always been a hallmark of solace for me. As I stared at it, random thoughts of things past engulfed my lone contemplation. None more than staring at the same entity from a park in Baguio just around this same time a month ago, eating a crappy order of lechon that never tasted so good unless shared with somebody. I was so satisfied and I never felt that I belonged anywhere else. I’ve begun to ask myself why I can’t seem to get these thoughts out of my system when I should’ve ages ago. And at a sudden I realized that I’m still pretty much caught up inside a web of emotions. Emotions that I would’ve easily shut off shortly after the moments of loss. But then this case is different. And alas, it occurred to me that I’m trying to get over a loss of something I never really had in the first place..