In Memoriam / by John Javellana

Today I realized intimately how death could bring one comfort instead of pain; be celebrated instead of mourned. 

Her time was long overdue. 

To be in a senseless state of slumber for seven years is far too long for any human to endure, conscious or unconscious. As lovingly selfish as your family may be to even have the slightest of hope that one day you wake up and be with us once more, I would favor that you not to. It is time that you be set free from the pangs of this mortal life on earth, even though you never seemed to be within its reach. You always had this genuine emanation of calm and peace hovering around your aura that comforted even the most jaded of spirits in your family whenever at your presence.  

Looking back at how you've barely lived your life for yourself yet be so supremely happy and at peace by dedicating it to your family shall perpetually remind me how faith, sacrifice, compassion and selflessness can, and will pull a family through anything this life may have to offer. Widowed with 6 children, you dedicated your being to raise a family on your own from such humble beginnings and you have succeeded in given your children a better life thus gifting us, your grandchildren a kind of life that any mother or grandmother could ever dream of providing.  

You always tease me that you never had anything to give me as inheritance once you passed away, then make me a snack out of bread drenched in butter, sprinkled with tons of sugar. And I'd be the happiest boy who was stubbornly craving for McDonald's alive. It was the simple things. And you were wonderful at it.

It is always infinitely sad whenever the person who has given you the best memories become the memory. But as you cross over to that better place everybody dreams of, I am somewhat puzzled to find myself not in mourning. Instead, I find myself looking beyond my balcony, smiling while gently in tears. I ask myself why and then it becomes clear. You have given me enough loving and comforting memories to console any pain that I,  and the rest of  your family may have to go through as you go away. 

So as I look up at the sky today, I smile. Because I am happy that you are free and finally in the arms of the man you never had the proper chance and time to love and be with in this world. 

Now your love story can begin.

I'm sure the glorious sunrises never end from where you and lolo Piling are, grandma Diting.

Forever thankful to have had a grandmother like you.